10 Minutes You Say?

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Maybe I’m a Timelord?


Today I embark on my journey to become a committed writer and blogger for the first time since I started this blog, which seemed to be 7 centuries ago now I come to think of it. Today my task is to write about anything, anything at all but I can only type away for ten minutes, no more, no less. ALRIGHT.

Well what do I talk about, do I ramble about pointlessnesses or do I delve into the frivolous ideas of time that keep masquerading around my head as I write this very post. We could chat about my fear of running out of time (quite ironically what the main theme of this blog is), my wasted time in bed this morning (I did not wake until 2pm) or my lack of time to do anything I deem productive.

Time gives us a purpose and a sense of being yet it is something that doesn’t exist at all when we think about it. It is man made. Sure things work on a scale and take so long in which to be completed and I suppose that scale can be regarded as time but I read a while ago about the fact that as humans, we are the only species that keeps track of this conspicuous element. We give it such weight on our existence and let it rule over us. “Oh I’m going to be late, I’m too old, I can’t do that I don’t have time.”

What if none of us have time at all? What if we are just floating through a realm of nothingness and we actually get to decide what we do and when we do it? There is no curfew, no bed time, no deadline. If you want to do something, you just do rather than being constrained to this dictation that we are running out of the none existent nothingness. Maybe we should put down our clocks, our diaries and our alarms and just live. Forgetting if time runs away with us or if a day is dragging. We are forgetting to enjoy ourselves in the present because we are too concerned we are missing out on the future and ironically sometimes we miss out on the future because we are held back by the past. WHAT IS THIS LUNACY?!

Or am I just rambling?

I have even booked my driving test for 11:11am because THAT’S a lucky time! Are you freaking kidding me?

Tell me when time has gotten the better of you? Or if you have some fantastical ideas and theory on time that simply seem downright absurd. Let’s talk.

Ten minutes up,

Demi Nicole

x x x

361 days to go

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Is love as difficult as it seems?

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And does it ever get easier?


So, as I explained in my previous post, I have been productively living my life alongside copious amounts of the American Office. By far, possible one of the most genius pieces of writing to have ever graced television – But I’m sure we will have a discussion about that at some other more convenient and less distracted time. The most staple through-line of the entire programme itself, to me, has to be the love affair that is Jim and Pam. They are more romantic, sweet and perfect for each other than the outcome of a Disney cake baked entirely from every fairytale Princess happy ending and first kiss that ever happened. Somehow, the writers of the Office sat down and envisioned the perfect relationship…something all of us have been chasing for what seems like an eternity.

Well then…what’s the secret? I’d love to have the answer to this one, I really would but I’m a mere twenty years of age, with a string of failed relationships hidden under the carpet so I’d be nothing but useless at even attempting to answer this one. However, for someone so young, I think I have learnt some pretty important lessons to aid the fragile first steps to any relationship; The do’s and do not’s, the coping with ups and downs, how to refrain from throwing fragile objects at one another. And I have studied Jim and Pam longer than I have studied my own lecture notes, so here are my ideas:

1. Establish who you are at your worst.

Now I don’t mean go in all guns blazing, kicking over furniture and shouting down the roof to parade your true colours but I do believe it’s important to recognise your primary ways of dealing with negative situations such as arguments with the significant other. And why not let them know? I know, I’m as stubborn as they come, but sometimes it can be massively beneficial to realise that sometimes you can be a bit of a bitch or the way you talk to them can be a little dickish – or maybe you’re just a king or queen of drama in a fuelled situation. Whatever it might be, if you address it, you can deal with it better and if your partner knows that that is simply your “coping” mechanism, maybe they’ll be a little more understanding in the event of a meteor collision of opposing opinions. Maybe they’ll think of ways to calm you down or how to best not aggravate your temper further. And obviously vice versa. Then one (or both) of you might be a little less inclined to storm out of the door so hastily.

2. Is it really worth fighting over?

I daren’t know how much of the past 5 years I’ve spent arguing with a partner but it happens. You live, you learn, you forget the bad eggs and decisions. A relationship without a little opposition, is a relationship lacking a little passion in my view however. We need to be different, we need to have views and interests that make us us, otherwise we only end up merging together and turning into one big gloopy mess of two wasted brains. And believe me, after the initial “they are so great, I love every little thing they do” stage of a relationship, your S.O WILL irritate you in little ways. Like my boyfriend leaves little piles of scraps of paper and rubbish everywhere that seems to spawn in every corner of the apartment but I also leave the cap off the tooth paste and have 7 thousand bobby pins strategically hidden everywhere. After a while it can get annoying but it isn’t the be all and end all. And even with other things, sometimes you have to take a step back and think “is this worth causing an issue over?”. The simple answer is no. Sometimes we gotta let it go. Time is too short.

3.  Spend time apart together.

When a relationship gets mega serious and you find yourself always with each other or maybe you live together, you sometimes forget to spend time with yourself or doing what interests you. Just because you’re in the same room or house doesn’t mean you have to remain joined at the hip, it’s perfectly fine for you to do different things. Often it’s just nice to know they are there to smile at from across the room. Don’t forget to enjoy some quality me time.

4. You’re not always right.

Sometimes the best thing to do is just admit you’re wrong, no matter how much you can’t bare to, it honestly isn’t about winning when it comes to love.

5. If they make you happy, what else matters?

If you’ve had a terrible day at work, if people seem to consistently let you down, if things aren’t going accordingly to plan…if they are what still makes you smile, still makes you think about a future that might at the time seem a million lifetimes away, nothing else really does matter. The person you choose to be in a relationship with isn’t who you should take all the shit times out on. They are the one who is there to listen, to help and to ultimately reassure you that you aren’t going through that stuff alone. And you’re the same rock for them too. Appreciate that there is always that one someone that can offer that.

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These aren’t rules for a successful relationship and they most certainly won’t work for everyone but they are a few things I have learnt along the way. I think we are all just trying to get by and answers may never come in regards to how to make that journey any easier. Maybe you’re not even in a relationship, maybe you’re just hoping to better your relationship with friends or family. For heavens sake, I hardily ever practise what I preach but I do give it my best shot. And you know what, a lot of the time it works for me. I hope to learn more, to become a better person and to help those around me. If we’ve got to face this world, we might as well face it together.

Let me know if you have any handy tips for a successful for relationship? Or any life lessons you’ve learnt so far?

Spread the love

Demi Nicole

x x x

(364 days to go)

365 Days To Go

MONSTERS UNIVERSITYDealing with my lack of productivity…


 

A tale as old as time, I want to do so much but can’t find the motivation to do any of it. What a dilemma!

Okay! Today it hit me that in a years time I will not be a university student, I won’t be in education and overall, in my mind, I won’t have a purpose. Insert existential crisis right about here. Now, I see people cry out that the end of a significant era can cause panic, uncertainty and a complete lack of stability in every day life and I have always found myself commenting to fellow classmates “what next? What are we supposed to do after this?”. It was a panic that was brushed off with the easy “we will think about that when we get there” and the royal “we” kind of left me comforted that I won’t be alone in the terrifying journey of professional adulthood.

All in all, I’m not alone, around 2 million people graduate every year and some how figure out how to jump the broken bridge of life from education to well…whatever comes after. This should be comforting, it should make me think “if all those people manage it, then I’ll manage too and I’ll get by just fine”. But it seems all of those other students know where they want to go next, like they were handed some magical next step map to Mordor or some scholarship to Hogwarts and everything from that point is just dandy. And I guess I slept in the day all the secret answers and cheat codes were finally unveiled.

Now of course, I’m kidding myself. No matter how much I romanticise it, there is no hidden level where you 1up so much in life you will no longer need to worry but I think that was my way of avoiding the 21 year question: So, what do you want to be when you get older?

I just figured, I’ll think about that when I get older, I don’t need to worry now. Well guess what? I AM OLDER. I AM THERE. And am I prepared? Am I hickory. I’m the one sat here on a Friday evening watching Nintendo conferences and eating bacon rather than actually reading the Great Wall of China long list of reading I need to do.  I see people that are just so productive with their time it’s unreal, they create and design and take a million selfies a day, (even that seems more productive than my current state) everyone seems to have it figured out. Don’t get me wrong, I work, I clean, I cook etc but I have a creative mind that seems to have been trapped in a forgotten dungeon for the past 4 months and I can’t remember what I did with the key.

The end of 2nd year went out on such a high, I achieved an astoundingly amazing grade for my directed adaptation of “Lovesong” by Abi Morgan and Frantic Assembly and I felt incredibly positive about what I could personally achieve. Then summer happened. I guess summer has been the complete polar opposite of what summer should be and to some degree it has destroyed me to within an inch of my own sanity. There are a lot of nasty people I am pretty much rid of though for it and I have met some friends I know I’ll have for a long time.

But I need to figure it out and WO-MAN up. I want to get fit, I want to be creative and do something worth doing. I have a driving test in a month, I have new places of work to prove my abilities and I have a degree to finish – which ultimately is my most important priority. So yeah, 365 days. I wonder if on the 12th September 2015 I’ll feel like I’ve done everything I can to kickstart my life.  Maybe I’ll figure out how to stop panicking and start acting on my goals. It’s easy right?

There must be a way to focus thy mind, a way to be not so distracted by kitty cats and endless episodes of The Office US on Netflix.

Let me know if you struggled with the “after uni blues” or a difficult transition in life? What helps you motivate yourself? Is procrastination an epidemic?

See you tomorrow

Demi Nicole

x x x